Friday, November 25, 2016

Personal Updates & Thoughts About The Future

Part of why I've been quiet here is that we've been prepping to move. It's stressing all of us.

Most of my winter clothes and blankets are buried in storage, the only closed toed shoes I still have out don't fit anymore (need to look up what age feet stop growing), and as cold as it is here, it's worse where we're going.

Writing wise, I was planning to post more about things like activism, prejudice, and similar stuff already, but the election results make it more urgent. I have this schedule partly planned out, but I have a bad habit of not sticking to my blogging plans. So I'm going to try to post at least once a week for now. If I feel I can take on more without it turning into a disaster, I will.

I will also finally get some ads up here, because I'm broke and can't find a job since I don't have the needed references, skills, or disposition.

Seriously, why does it seem like every damn job wants someone who's cheerful?

Finally, my mental health issues have been at some of their worst states in the past few months. And everything going on hasn't helped. And thanks to my aforementioned location change and brokeness, seeing a therapist isn’t an option right now.

So in short, everything is difficult and I'm done. On the bright side, my siblings will let me stay with them while we figure this living situation out.

I'll be back soon.

© 2016 by M.R.R.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Why I Stopped Believing That Being LGBT+ Is Sinful

Content notes:Heteronormativity and transphobia, mentions of sexual assault, suicide, hate crimes, and other forms of violence.

Sometime late last year, I realized being attracted to someone of the same gender, acting upon that attraction, or being transgender are not sinful.

I had heard about some quirks in the original language the Bible manuscripts were written in. It didn't convince me at first.

But the failure of conversion therapy helped push me in the right direction.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

You remember Pixabay, that site I used to use to find most of my free images?

I just found out they've been acting unethically towards the people providing said images. The sum of the link is they aren't allowing people to remove their files from the site. They even uploaded some that had been deleted, and took money that was intended to go straight to the artist.

I'm disappointed, and I definitely won't be using them anymore.

© 2016 by M.R.R.

Wednesday, June 08, 2016

Celebrate The Small Things:

Given how bad my anxiety has been the last couple weeks, I may not visit everyone for a few days.

  • I've had a jar of cash I've been adding to for years, which got lost as half of my bedroom was shuffled around. I found it earlier this week, and it has relieved some of my financial worries.
  • Made it to the library on Tuesday.
  • I've almost caught up on the blog posts I missed over the past couple months.
  • My room is slightly cleaner.
  • An unexpected visit from my brother.
  • Another of my siblings talked to me about some personal stuff we've been going through. It was a good conversation.

How are things on your end?

© 2016 by M.R.R.

Wednesday, June 01, 2016

IWSG:Making Changes

You can sign up here.
Hello everyone. And to my followers, yes, I'm still alive

After issues with my computer and internet and then my anxiety being on the high side, I'm only now getting back into blogging. I've missed it.

But here's the thing. I want to start posting more often about things like my faith and (because I can't think of a better term) social justice. Since I started this blog, a lot of my political and religious views have changed, and I'm worried that what I want to post won't go over well with my current followers. Also, one of my readers is a conservative relative who lives close to me, and I'm nervous about what she'll have to say, because I doubt she'll want to keep quiet about it. Even saying that much is making me anxious.

So there's my problem this month. How are things going for you?

© 2016 by M.R.R.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Cover Reveal:Endless by Misha Gerrick

Oh boy, this is last minute. This book comes out tomorrow (or today, depending on your time zone).

About the Book

“First, do no harm.” Blake Ryan swore that oath to become a doctor. Ironic, given that he spent most of his thousand year life sucking souls out of other immortals.

Things are different now. Using regular shots of morphine to keep his inner monster at bay, Ryan has led a quiet life since the Second World War. His thrills now come from saving lives, not taking them.

Until a plane crash brings Aleria into his hospital. Her life is vibrant. Crack to predators like him. She’s the exact sort of person they would hunt, and thanks to a severe case of amnesia, she’s all but defenseless.

Leaving Aleria vulnerable isn’t an option, but protecting her means unleashing his own inner monster. Which is a problem, because his inner monster wants her dead most of all.

Amazon US | Amazon Universal | Apple | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Goodreads

About the Author

Misha Gerrick lives near Cape Town, South Africa, and can usually be found staring at her surroundings while figuring out her next book.

If you’d like to see what Misha’s up to at the moment, you can find her on these social networks:

Tumblr | Twitter | Google Plus | Writing Blog


This had to be what dying felt like. Floating outside my body, waiting for that final link to my life to be severed, only vaguely aware of indescribable pain. More screams than I could count rose up around me. Hundreds of footsteps beat against tiles. I couldn’t open my eyes if I wanted to. Not when it was easier to listen and wait. People shouted for a doctor or an IV, or a thousand other things that made no sense. I listened to all the chaos, trying to untangle it in my thoughts.

Soon, I could go. The peace around me was so relaxing, completely out of place in the clamor I heard. I wanted it. To rest forever in that peace. Why not? There was a very good reason, but I couldn’t call it to mind.

A numb buzz shot through my body and shattered my serenity.

It happened again. Only this time was more of a sharp pulse. The third time jolted like lightning. The fourth…Hell. Suddenly, the screams were coming from me. My heart’s relentless thundering added to my torment.



My chest burned like fire. It hurt to breathe. Cold air drove down my throat and into my lungs, amplifying the inferno in my chest. My skin felt scorched. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t right.

I had to see. I had to understand why pain dominated my existence like this. My eyes were fused shut. My breaths grew shallow, trying to draw air when there was none. I tried to clench my teeth. I bit hard plastic. A pipe. Cold air suddenly forced back into my lungs, out of time with my own breathing. This was wrong. It wasn’t safe. I had to see. The best I got was a little fluttering of my lashes.

A high-pitched beep shot through my head. It repeated again and again. I wanted to reach over and slam my fist into its source. My arm wouldn’t lift. Something kept it trapped. A scream rose up from the depths of my soul, but the pipe jammed inside my throat stifled the sound. I only managed a whimper, trying my best not to gag. More air blasted into my lungs against my will. What was going on? I was trapped in my own body, but why?

I needed to move. I had to move. Now. Before… Even… Even though… Panic gripped me. The beeps increased at a frenetic pace. I needed to move. To be gone. Didn’t matter where. Just not here. Not defenseless. Not trapped.

The air sucked out of my lungs. I gasped, choking on nothing, strangled by invisible fingers. I tried to convulse my body. To twist myself free of what’s holding me.


The air rushed back in a cold flood. Seconds later it left, only to return in the same amount of time.

There was a rhythm to the air. In… out... in… out… The breaths were slow—sleep-like. I concentrated on this rhythm, striving to clear my head. If I wanted out, I needed to think. Calmly. Clearly. Eventually, those irritating beeps slowed. I tried to focus past the sound.

Voices buzzed about me, adding to my need to see, to do something to protect myself. No one seemed to pay attention to me. Good. I could use that to my advantage.

I centered my every thought on moving my little finger. It finally jerked, but collided against something solid. So the thing trapping my arm was physical and too heavy for me to lift. It was better to be trapped than paralyzed. With luck I could escape my restraints. I tried my other hand, but it was cemented stuck as well. Right leg. Left leg. Damn it! Both trapped. I had to move!


No, I needed to stay calm. I tried to make larger movements, biting the pipe in my mouth against the urge to scream in pain. There was no wiggle room.

Fearing that I might be blindfolded, I focused on blinking. It worked. My eyes opened and the blur faded, revealing ceiling tiles. Why would there be tiles? Where was the canvas of hospital tents? The distant sounds of bombs dropping? The power of their explosions rushing through my blood?

No. That wasn’t right. I wasn’t there.

Where was I, then?

© 2016 by M.R.R. (though mostly © Misha Gerrick)

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

IWSG:April 2016

Hello. I'm finally back for a moment.

So my computer is still causing trouble, now because it's so old that my favorite internet browser has stopped updating. But the good news is I may have found a replacement, and I'll be able to afford it by the end of the week. And then maybe I can start blogging regularly again.

Now let's finish with a few quotes.

Credit:Kathleen Taylor Conklin

© 2016 by M.R.R.

Friday, March 04, 2016

Celebrate The Small Things:Where Did February Go?

Well, it's already March. So what good things are going on?

  • The forecast for this weekend says rain.
  • One of my roommates has gone into a cleaning frenzy, and the house is looking better.
  • I got a little worried because I completely forgot about IWSG this month and didn't remember if I posted for last month (their policy is that you can't miss more than one post in a row). Turns out I did remember it last month, so I'm still in.
  • Our puppy. That is all.

How are things on your end?

© 2016 by M.R.R.

Tuesday, February 09, 2016


My computer snd its internet are on the fritz, so I'm going to be inactive until March.

Until then.

© 2016 by M.R.R.

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

IWSG:Two Things

Welcome all. As usual, I'll make it short.

For about six months, every attempt and plan I've made to blog more has faltered. Aside from this and Celebrate The Small Things, I'm barely doing anything. To make things worse, the computer I use for most of my writing and internet is showing signs it won't work much longer and I hate using my tablet to write, so I'm looking at some new options.

Which brings me to my next concern:Finances.

I don't make much money right now, and I'm a little worried because my living situation will change in the next few months. And instead of dealing with it, my procrastinating self is avoiding the issue.

So how are things with you this month?

© 2016 by M.R.R.