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Saturday, April 12, 2014

Movie Review:Kindergarten Cop

This one's going to be shorter than most of my movie reviews.

Premise:A police officer goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to catch a drug dealer.

Cast:Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Kimble, Penelope Ann Miller as Joyce Paulmarie, Pamela Reed as Phoebe O'Hara, Richard Tyson as Cullen Crisp, Carroll Baker as Eleanor Crisp, Joseph and Christian Cousins as Dominic, Linda Hunt as Miss Schlowski, Ben Diskin as Sylvester, Cathy Moriarty as Sylvester's mother, Justin Page as Zach, Jayne Brook as Zach's mother, Alix Koromzay as Cindy, Sarah Rose Karr as Emma, Ben McCreary as Lowell

Director:Ivan Reitman

MPAA Rating:PG-13

Genres:Comedy, action

Notes:Poster taken from IMP Awards and belongs to Universal.

Pros:The acting. It's funny.

Cons:Story is a little weak.

When you spend years of your life trying to catch someone, you don't give up on the chase easily. Not even when it requires you to face something worse than ever before:6-year-olds.

It's easy to mess up a mix of comedy and drama. Fortunately, the movie manages to avoid this, knowing when to make you laugh and when things should be serious. However, the story is a little unbelievable. For it to work, you have to believe that the guy who at first can't handle kids at all ends up being the best teacher at the school. It's still funny to watch a big tough guy unable to deal with kids crying.

The acting is fairly good on all accounts. Yes, even on the kids. It helps that the movie requires them only to be kids, not action survivors or anything like that.

All in all, I'd recommend this as an action comedy.

Sex:Girls stand on a table while a boy looks up their skirts. The boy's mother later expresses concern over her son playing with dolls, until Kimble tells her he does it to peek underneath skirts. She also says that her son's father left them for a man. Boys fight over what looks to be a porn magazine.
A little boy says his father is a gynecologist who spends all day staring at vaginas. This same kid says twice "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina." Twins report their mother calls their dad a real sex machine.
A man and a woman are heard having sex. The women is seen under a sheet, while the man covers his crotch with a pillow. His naked butt is reflected in a mirror. He walks out of a bathroom in a pink robe. Later, someone says to him, "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."
To convince a witness to talk, Kimble follows her and pretends to have a crush on her. As he goes in, a woman hits on him, much to her boyfriend's displeasure. A couple kisses a few times, once while a crowd of kids cheer. A single mother assumes the new teacher must be gay, until she gets a look at him. She then sends her kid to see if Kimble is single. A woman shows cleavage, midriff, and leg. A guy wears an open jacket. A teenage couple makes out in a lounge.

Violence:There are several shootings. A woman is hit by a car. A man is beaten and robbed. A ferret bites a man's neck. A boy says his dad died in a crash. A man abuses his son (a bruise appears as evidence) and implicitly his wife. Kimble walks up to the dad and punches him.
A building is set on fire. The body of a drug addict briefly appears onscreen. A woman is beaten with a bat. A man hits his ex, then tries to convince their son she made him do it. A man hits a girl. Kimble punches out two people. He gets into a shoot-out, trashing the bar he's in and throwing a couple of guys into objects. Kimble imagines Crisp finding him and killing him. A boy nearly falls from a tower.
Apparently, a boy punched a girl for poisoning his hamsters. A boy rams a wagon into a man's leg. A kid says if a ferret bites you, you get rabies and die. He also says Kimble's headache might be a tumor. A hospital visitor accidentally hurts the man he came to visit.

Language:"G*dd**n", "G*d", "b****rd", "h*ll", "b**ch", "a**", "sh*t", and "crap". A woman gives Kimble the finger. Kids call a boy poo-poo head.

Drugs/Alcohol:Crisp is a drug dealer. A woman buys tampered drugs. Someone dies of an overdose. There's a bar scene. O'Hara buys a bottle of wine for Kimble to take to a date. A woman buys a lot of stuff at the pharmacy with the intent of making a kid take it. She did the same thing to her son. A man smokes in the car; he's told to put it out because it's unhealthy.

So what did you think? Was it good? Or did it flunk?

© 2014 by M.R.R.

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