I've just been having some doubts. Sometimes I'm not sure if this is the right way. Sometimes I think some of the other Christians I meet are mean. Sometimes I don't know what I should do.
A while back, I was going to a Bible study. And I wasn't getting much from it. It was like showing up to what you'd think would be a feast and getting scraps. My friend suggested maybe I was there because my answers to their questions were helping someone else. And she might have been right. But I can't continue to metaphorically feed someone else while I myself starve. I guess the point I'm trying to make is I can't continue to go to the same place just because I feel obligated to. I need to know God is speaking to me.
I don't know what I want, really, but I know what I don't want. I don't want long lectures about what I should or shouldn't believe. I don't want people yelling at me about joining this religious or non-religious group. Some people say they found evidence God doesn't exist, others say they have evidence He does. At some point, you have to wonder who to believe.
I'm sorry if this is a little disappointing, but I'm not feeling that good lately. I need some sleep.
© 2014 by M.R.R.